7.“Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at you.” -David Brinkley

Have you ever wondered what people think about themselves and their lives, instead of what they think about you and your life? Have you ever actually sat in a room and looked around at people, and thought, who do they think they are and where do they think they are going, are they satisfied with who they are?

I have recently realised that people get as bored with being them as i do with being me, there are so many people in the world that try to change who they are and what they do to make improvements and basically unbored themselves, people move house, move countries, change there hair, the way they do their make up and some change their name. Yes i said it change their name, easier said than done right? wrong, i know a woman, who is not necessarily bored with her life or even unsatisfied, its more of a form of amusement. Of all the funny and very useful things mother duck has taught me this has to be one of the best. The aim of the game is to be someone else for as long as it takes to order and receive your coffee, every time she orders a coffee at Gloria jeans she changes her name, sometimes shes 'Lizzy' or 'Magda', she can be 'Tiffany' or 'Jean', the only thing is you have to remember who you are for that particular amount of time, sounds easy right? WRONG it's all over when you forget who you are.

In a sense the game sort of, when you twist it, is a close reference too reality, the game is over if you forget your name and you never get your coffee, or you wait around for what seems like an age trying too figure out who the hell "insert name here" is and why have they not picked up their coffee that happens too be the same as what you ordered, same goes in life, if you forget who you are  you wait around for things too happen that realistically wont happen because you either aren't responding when your proverbial name is called, your not chasing up what you want too receive or you just plain forgot what you wanted in the first place. Scarey right? well unfortunately we all do it..ALL of us. Whether is be for a job, a partner (friends or otherwise), to start a family, to have a holiday, end a toxic friendship or even buy that cute pair of shoes in the vintage shop that were there last week..but aren't today. Most people will wait around for when the time is right too start achieving a goal or to obtain something but in the process they change, buy or rid themselves of things that aren't necessarily what need changing, but are what happens too be socially acceptable too change.
For example, and this is a little personal by the way, i want someone to be there a boyfriend if you like and i am currently chasing a really cute guy who i know my parents will love, hes a tradie, hes got money hes driven and down too earth, now he pays me abit of attention but more too my best friend, however the reason i want too be with someone is, and i realised this after iv read this draft a million times, i have a male friend from tafe and hes a really nice guy he inspires me too be creative, we have very similar interests, he treats me how i wish too be treated, but in the running of boyfriend or partner i haven't given him the time of day because hes not what seems to be acceptable as boyfriend material. So I'm guilty as charged i want too change something that i want too change but I'm automatically making that change too whats 'acceptable' but not necessarily right for me. Understand? are you confused yet?

So in summation I myself, and the majority, if not all people change themselves too suit others and convince themselves that it's really them, we forget who we really are it's like the coffee game, forget who you are and you miss out on that sweet sweet caffeine or what ever it was you wante din the first place.

p.s Mum do you still play the coffee game?

"the moon comes out every night, to remind us that everyday has the potential for beauty"- the perfect man.

Sitting at the pub with some friends on Friday night looking around, i saw this old man in shorts pulled up too high, a knitted jumper that his wife had obviously made him, long socks with sandals,and a schooner in hand, the thing that amused me the most about this elderly man, other than his cliche old man attire was the fact that poking out from just under his shorts line and on his hands where the remnants of a life gone bye, the faded pigment of tattoo ink. It got me thinking about how the things we do whilst we're young impact our lives when we're older, and i can admit, permanent things like tattoos and piercings do physically change your appearance but they don't actually change who you are, and most of the time there are experiences or meaning behind those additions that create memories, much like the youth of today's 'childish actions', that may lead to success or failure in any situation.
I look around at my friends and well, we all have piercings, and or tattoos, we belong to a generation of 'bingedrinkers and designer drugs', but realistically each generation has there own form of alcohol and drug abuse, its just it keeps progressing to become worse with each new generation as the rules get tighter, each generation has their own identity, however when you really look at it, the point in my life that i have now reached so did my parents at some stage, that point where the world opened up and there were so many possibilities to be explored, and so many parental restraints to hold them back, I'm not just talking about being told 'NO', I'm talking about that disappointed look or tone of voice, the lectures and the post action speeches, that somewhere in amongst all the action specific details comes things like, 'you should have known better' or 'I was young once too' and 'im just trying to help you'. I realise that my parents in particular, are still learning the ropes of parent hood, because they've never been parents before me, and i realise that they don't want to do the things their parents did, or they don't want me to make certain mistakes, but they were young too and i know that they wanted to make their own mistakes and memories, and they wanted to live their lives and at some point their parents stopped them, or , even worse they were disappointed in them. So when i look at it, this whole parent, child growing up situation is a vicious cycle that starts with your birth and progresses from there on until the birth of your own child.
I am willing to accept that what my parents did was in the past, and a fair while ago, and what i am doing now is the present and currently relevant, however i refuse to acknowledge the suggestion that i am to young to know what i am doing, because i am well aware of the consequences of my actions, i know that if i go swimming at the beach at dusk i have the potential to get eaten my a shark, but i also know that if i can stand and see my feet and there are still surfers out i should be relatively safe, i am aware that tattoos are permanent and some people don't like them, but more and more people are accepting them and in my opinion they are also a form of art and personal expression.
My point is, that at some point in both parent and child life there has to be an acceptance of singular identity for all involved. My other point is that i am grateful for the way my parents have raised me, they've made me the person i am today, tattoos, piercings, childish habits an all. I especially thank my mum, for giving me strength and determination, and for showing me that there is so much to be explored. So now that i have finished school, i start my whole new adventure with my own identity.